Life in the new bloc(k)

The europact, which the EU’s 27 member states are discussing today in Brussels, will pave the way for a complete overhaul "of the European economic bloc(k)." To ensure that it will able to weather stormy conditions on financial markets, the chief architects, France and Germany, are emphasising functionality and security over variety.

Published on 25 March 2011 at 15:52

Europe is in the process of constructing a new economic order. The new edifice will be built on the same foundations as the previous one, but using sturdier materials. All of the units in the new bloc(k) will be identical. Mediterranean blue and island green colour schemes will no longer be used for individual apartments, which will all be painted the same colour.

Building security will be reinforced. Dedicated personnel will enforce observance of noise regulations, and inspect residents’ apartments to make certain they are not consuming over-priced products or buying on credit. Residents’ bills will also be carefully analysed to ensure they are not overspending, and their working hours — especially any propensity to take naps at lunchtime — will be closely monitored.

If life in the new bloc(k) does not seem like an attractive prospect, please bear in mind that this is an extremely prestigious and sought-after building, and there are plenty of potential residents who will not quibble over rules on interior decoration or a curfew on noise. The reason for the strong demand for these European homes is quite simple: the new building has been certified to withstand natural disasters and will not collapse under any circumstances.

There will be an ongoing need for small repairs and regular renovations, but responsible residents can rest assured that they will never be required to vacate their homes. Co-owners meetings, where everyone will have the right to vote, are expected to be marked by lively debate about building policy.

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In a bid to cater to those who favour a more independent lifestyle, the developers are also constructing a number of small bungalow units in the vicinity of the main bloc(k). These units will benefit from lower rents and greater autonomy, but residents will be responsible for their own maintenance charges, which could be quite expensive in the event of extreme weather conditions. Under no circumstances will residents of the main bloc(k) be required to contribute towards these costs.

FROM SPAIN

Portugal has no choice

"Portugal refuses EU bailout," headlinesLa Vanguardia, reporting that "all the political forces in Portugal are opposed to EU intervention worth an estimated 75 billion euros," which Angela Merkel has warned “will be inevitable." The Portuguese crisis was high on the agenda for discussions at the 24/25 March Brussels summit, the Barcelona daily notes, deploring the fact that neither Portugal’s socialist government nor its conservative opposition “are competent to deal with the dramatic economic and financial situation" in the country, "which now has a public debt in excess of 8% of GDP — an unsustainable level that could lead to bankruptcy."

La Vanguardia adds that the rejection of the austerity package presented by Prime Minister Socrates, who subsequently resigned, "will pave the way for a period of enormous uncertainty” that "will only make things worse and will probably result in even more sacrifices." On this basis, it insists that financial aid from the EU "must not be delayed for any reason" and a decision "must be taken immediately to counter pressure from the markets and avoid contagion in the rest of the eurozone." At the same time, La Vanguardia enthusiastically notes that the markets are not assuming that Spain will be "directly affected by the Portuguese crisis," and speculators have ceased their attacks on the Spanish stock market. However, the government in Madrid “must continue with the programme of reforms that is already underway” which has “significantly improved the image of Spain."

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