Saying "I don't care" the hard way

"And I ate an apple this morning." The French wryly put an end to all banalities with the phrase Et moi j’ai mangé une pomme ce matin. They’re so bored by your comments, that they offer you another uninteresting detail from their lives. The Spaniards say they feel as if they’re listening to rain: como si escuchara llover. 100% guaranteed to shut you up. Sticking with the skies, the Brits reply I couldn’t give a hoot whilst the Spanish variation goes cerrarle el pico, which resembles the English order: Shut your beak**.**

The Spaniards see one main vision when they feel you’re talking so much nonsense that it spills out from your mouth through your elbows (habla por los codos). Their version of I couldn’t care less amounts to me importa un comino (I don’t give a cumin) or me importa un bledo, to the end effect that the other person finally stops twittering or no diga ni pío. The Germans complain that whatever you say, *what do you care if it’s a jacket or a coat*?: das ist doch Jacke wie Hose.

The French outdated strategy is: ça ne lui rendra pas la jambe bien faite (it won’t give you a beautiful leg), referring to a rooster’s leg, which allegedly symbolised pride, and today has evolved into the expression Ça me fait une belle jambe (that gives me a good leg). Brimming with pride, the Germans make a stereotypical allusion to national food staple, the Curry Wurst, when they say proclaim I couldn’t give a sausage or das ist mir Wurst (That’s a sausage to me, literally). It has been claimed in certain internet forums that the Bard from whom these words originated from was Otto von Bismarck. "How do you say sausage in Latin," he asked blithely, interrupting others around him fussing over what his new title would be as first chancellor of Germany – so the story goes.

On to other, more vulgar sausages: the bored Poles are left *"*hanging" (Wisi mi to), French men wank ( s’en branlent ), the Spanish comment that it goes through their foreskin or clitoris: lo pasan por el forro de…/ me lo paso por la pipa del coño, or se la pela (masturbate). Your boring comment could go past my arse (das geht mir am Arsch vorbei) in Germany, or fill my arse in Poland(mam to w dupie), which is when the Poles then piss by whatever you say (olewam to or leję na to). The Brits for their part couldn’t give – in theatrical turn - a shit**, a rat's arse, a toss**, or a flying fuck.

We’ll end on a more mathematical tone for you, borrowing a haughty expression from the Germans who’ll tell you that das tangiert mich nur peripher (That affects me in the periphery). The verb comes from the Latin tanegere, meaning to touch, which in German has come to mean affect or bother.

Caroline Venaille (Translation : cafebabel.com)